I just came across this hilarious ASR post, while browsing through an old archive. Funny stuff.
From: Plumed L. Basilisk (Rob.Russell@-www.cauce.org-Canada.Com)
Subject: Damned Outsourcers
Date: 2001-09-08 09:24:53 PST
Well designed, well built *NIX systems are way too stable.
Yesterday, I walked in to a huge voicemail company to "add some scalability to their network" and in the process, segmented their *NIX production machines from their dorkstations.
Since the dorkstations all access the 'net through a gateway, no changes were needed except in DNS, but the *NIX machines didn't have any routes other than to their own subnet.
So I went to the guy that hired us, and I told him that their *NIX admin would have to add a route to the *NIX machines that needed access back to the dorkstations.
"I am the *NIX admin."
"Can you add the route, then?"
"What's a route?"
"It's just a single command to tell them that the dorkstations have moved."
"Will it require a reboot?"
"No, just a single command. Are you familiar with the route command?"
"No, I've never needed to know that stuff, the machines just work."
"Who set them up for you?"
"Oh, we had this guy that was obviously too specialized to be useful - after he set up the machines, he would just sit in his cubicle all day and not producing anything recognizeable, so we had to let him go."
"Who fixes them?"
"I've been here 4 years, and they've never had trouble. I bought a UNIX book to give our Exchange admin in case of emergency, he's pretty technical."
"Who would you call if he couldn't fix it within the one-hour response you guarantee your customers?"
"You, I guess."
Great. "Do you have the root passwords?"
"You mean these weird sticky notes in the server room?"
"Okay, I should be able to take care of all this for you, then."
"Make sure you let me sign off on any UNIX commands before you press enter, and write them on stickers on the monitors."
How the FUCK do you have fifty million dollars worth of HPUX, SUN and SCO machines and not keep someone on staff that knows their head from their ass? Is this supposed to make sense to companies somehow?
Rob.Russell@Canada.Com, Unicorn of Usenet & Bastard of Bandwidth
"If my son wants to be a pimp when he grows up, that's fine with me. I hope he's a good one and enjoys it and doesn't get caught. I'll support him in this. But if he wants to be a network administrator, he's out of the house and not part of my family." Steve Wozniak, http://www.woz.org