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Lord Yupa

February 2010

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Lord Yupa

Mixed signals and where to go next.

Okay, so I'm getting mixed signals from someone, and I'm not sure how to proceed. Luckily, I have all of you great LJ friends out there to give me advice on how to further screw up my life. ;-)

Here's the situation. Two weeks ago last Thursday, I went out to Senior Matias with a group of friends. Towards the end of the night, most of the group was getting ready to leave. As they were getting up, another buddy of mine called and said he was on the way. Since I had time to kill before work, I figured I'd hang out and wait for him, even though everyone else was leaving.

While I was waiting for him, our waitress came over and talked to me for a bit. Turns out her name is Angela, and as she was very cute, I didn't mind at all that she wanted to chat. (Hello, Angela, if you ever happen to read this. ;-)

After talking for a bit, we discovered that Angela actually works with my best friend's girlfriend. How's that for an amusing coincidence? Eventually, though, I had to head off for work.

The next week, I didn't see Angla (we go to Senior Matias almost every Thursday), but last Thursday, I did. I made it a point on my way out to talk to her, and while talking, I mentioned that me and some friends were going to be heading to Dundee Theater on Saturday, for their midnight movie (they were showing The Exorcist). She then gave me her phone number (she offered it, although I was about to ask for it) and asked me to give her a call about it.

Saturday came around, and I tried calling her. I ended up getting her voice mail, and I left a message. I didn't hear back from her before the movie. So, Monday, my next free day, I tried calling her again. Same result, I left her a voice mail. Yesterday, I tried again, and as before, I ended up leaving her a voicemail.

My question is, where to go from here? She gave me her phone number, so I can't help but think she's at least a little interested in me, but I've called her three times now, and I have yet to actually talk to her. Also, I've left my number twice, and she hasn't called me back.

I'm guessing I'll probably see her tomorrow at Senior Matias, but what then? Do I say anything about her apparent lack of interest? Should I wait for her to say something?

Arrggghh.

Why do women have to be so freakin' difficult? ;-p

Comments

It's been a long time since I've dated--Brad & I have been together going on 8 years now, so I don't know how useful my advice will be, but here it is:

I would wait for her to say something. You don't know if something may have happened--she could be in school and be really busy, she could have had some kind of family emergency, or something, and maybe just couldn't return your call. Anything could have happened.

I personally think it's good that you pursued her a little, but I wouldn't do more unless she seems interested in you when you see her again, because when I was dating people, I personally--not all women, but I personally--liked a man who showed interest in me, because so many men just play it cool or are rude or don't call when they say they will or whatever, and I liked when a man showed that he liked me. So I think it's really good that you actually called her. Way to go! I imagine that must take a lot of guts. I don't know that I could call a man if I was interested in him. I'd be utterly intimidated.

But if they're too pushy makes me nervous, becuase then I feel like he might be like a psycho or something, so I wouldn't call her again if I were you, because you've already called her a couple of times and left your number, so it's highly unlikely that, say, her cat jumped on the machine and deleted your message each and every time and so she has no idea you called.

I'd just see how things go when you see her again. Play it by ear, but I wouldn't bring it up, except maybe to say something really casual, if you can't resist, like, "we missed you Saturday" or something, but in a really, really casual way if it comes up.

See what she does when you see her, then, is my best advice.

Good luck, and I congratulate you on being such a good guy!

~~Syb
My suggestion would be to a) not call her again, and b) wait for her to say something. If she doesn't, don't push it. That'll look like desperation (or worse) and come off as a turn-off. Don't give her the cold shoulder either, though, just be the way you usually are. See what happens.

If she asks you to call her, try one more time. If you get no response at all, drop it.
Go caveman on her. Grab her by the hair and drag her home. :P
I agree with the other two commentors that you've made enough calls. I'd have written her off as uninterested, except that it sounds like she works where you hang out. Awkward.

I disagree with them that you should not bring it up. It was she who suggested you call, and then didn't return your calls. How is pretending that didn't happen going to make you look any better? If she's there tomorrow, I'd probably blame her, in a mock-accusatory tone, for screening your calls. (Obviously 'mock' is the most important word in that last sentence). At least then, you can figure out from her response whether she's wasting your time or not.

Just my two cents :D
Well, I'd advise you to hold off, be friendly to her tomorrow, and see what happens. Give her some time, though - you took three shots, and I'd say at this point the ball is in her court. Definitely talk to her at the restaurant, but I wouldn't really spend much more time pursuing unless you think she's really worth it - for one, she might think you're too pushy and get annoyed, and for another, it's not worth putting that much time and effort into it yet, it seems. But mostly, I think, you just don't want to be too pushy - she wouldn't have given you her (correct) number if she wasn't interested, and y'never know why she hasn't called back.

P.S. "if you ever happy to read this"... I think you meant "happen", not "happy". ;) )
I'd just say hello to her the next time you see her, and leave it at that unless she apologises for not answering the phone or showing up.
Chances are she's been busy. You've called enough for now, if you see her tonight, don't ask why she hasn't called. That makes you look psychoish ;-) If she brings it up, you can mention that you figured she was pretty busy, as chances are she's embarressed about not calling back, or didn't know when would be a good time.