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Lord Yupa

February 2010

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Lord Yupa

"Let's face it, English is a stupid language."

Just found this on the Internet, and found it really amusing.

Lets face it English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes
we find that Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be
phone beeth
If the teacher taught, Why didn't the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and Drive on parkways
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day And as cold as hell on
another
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy Of a language
where a house can burn up as It burns down
And in which you fill in a form By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which of course isn't
a race at all)
That is why When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch It starts But when I wind up
this poem
It ends.
- J. Phillips

Comments

One minor quibble: We did get french fries from France - Thomas Jefferson was the one who brought the tradition of frying potatos that way over to the States. ;)